Break Up Tips
Break ups hurt, a lot. Finding that you are hurting and feeling intense emotions after a break up does not make you strange, it makes you human. We all experience some form of break up related pain during our lifetimes. It is important to know how to effectively deal with this pain in order to move on and get over the break up. The following tips may prove useful in getting over a break up.
Firstly, it is important to remember that no one is to blame for the break up. It is not your ex partners fault and it is not your fault; so there is no point in saying your ‘what ifs…’ or pointing the finger of blame. This will only result in the development of feelings of resentment within yourself, your ex partner or both and will ultimately serve to ruin any chances of maintaining a friendship. Instead, acknowledge the fact that a break up indicates that there was something wrong with the relationship and that remaining in the relationship would ultimately have been cheating you and your partner from finding relationships that provide you with everything you need.
Secondly, it is important to acknowledge and feel the emotions that come with a break up. Breaking up creates a barrage of intense emotions that many people try to deny. Denying such feelings will only result in you wallowing in your own pity for months on end. For this reason you must allow yourself the time and space to feel and express these emotions in a healthy way. Remember, it is ok to cry, in fact crying is one of the best means of ‘getting it all out’ and letting go.
You may feel angry about the end of your relationship. This is common in most people. DO not take your anger out on other people or on your ex partner (remember a break up is no ones fault, therefore no one can be held accountable). Scream into a pillow or talk about your emotions with a friend. By no means should you do something to hurt your ex partner, even if you feel they have done something to deserve it. Acting in such a way will only make you appear small and petty to others, and will only make you feel worse in the long run. In order to let go of the feelings of anger, you must accept that the relationship has ended and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it from ending.
Finally, it is important to remember that there is always hope. A break up does not mean you are doomed to be alone. There is someone out there for you and you will find them. Reminding yourself of this will make the process of letting go of the relationship much easier.